


John Would Have Never Guessed Cruel

by thehalogenmary



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: John's happiness is but a dot on the horizon, M/M, One-Sided Sherlock Holmes/John Watson, Sailing away on this angst boat, Short, There it goes you guys, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-11
Updated: 2012-07-11
Packaged: 2017-11-09 15:45:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/457196
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thehalogenmary/pseuds/thehalogenmary
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A very short glimpse into Sherlock and John's flat + the end of something that got off to a pretty decent start + a preceding visit to the psychologist's.</p><p> </p><p>Just a small something to get my feet wet in the AO3 community!</p>
            </blockquote>





	John Would Have Never Guessed Cruel

"So, just because we share a flat,"

She nodded.

"You can gather I fancy him?"

She nodded again.

"You can deal with him, and you know that's no small feat. He's impulsive, calculating, utter lack of sympathies for human life and then there's you, the opposite, yet you seem to coexist, mutually beneficial, both gaining from the relationship. Symbiotic existence, the both of you," she finished, looking enlightened and well like she's two steps ahead of the game. "You like him, and that's fine if you don't realize it now. I just--"

"This is crazy."

She waved him down with a dismissive hand. "I just want you to listen to me. And admit the possibility that, maybe, just maybe, John Watson, you adore him."

John sat silent for a minute and, still rather unreceptive, nodded.

"I accept the possibility, nothing more."

"Not even the likelihood?" When sge said thop it took all of John not to raise his brow in hope or curiosity.

"Not even the likelihood," he finished.

"Let's wrap it up for now. That was magnificent progress, I'd say, Dr. Watson. Perhaps next week you'll be ready for a more proactive role?"

Standing, Jane extended her hand and smiled, holding John's amicably rather than a professional shake. John couldn't, of course, wave down a cab at once, but he found his way home eventually.

 

 

 

 

 

"Carry away? Nice colour on you, that top. I'm impressed."

Sherlock was in a button up, which was to be expected, but the vibrant maroon was something new. John never fails to compliment the other on his advances in fashion, however lacking his knowledge is.

"Let's have a go out and about. Have you show off that festive chem--"

"If you like the shirt, John, all you have to do is ask. You've complimented me twice in as many sentences. I'm not averse to letting you borrow it to impress a lady friend." His eyes never left the vials of liquid he seemed to live on rearranging and cataloguing. Sherlock rose, heeled soles tapping on the floorboards. He stood in front of Watson.

"And if you're asking me on a date, well, I can't say I'd be averse to that either." He turned to grab his coat from the back of the chair near the desk.

"Coming, John?"

 

 

 

 

 

“Listen to me. I don’t want you to think I’ve just tossed you out by the wayside, b—“

“Didn’t you? Because that sure seems like what you did.” John’s voice rose with incredulity and disbelief. Of all things.

“Of all things, Sherlock—Of all the _things_ you are," he paced passed the other and came to a quick stop in the middle of the floor, "I would not have guessed cruel.”

“John, slow your breathing, you’re becoming hysteric." Sherlock was quiet for a long minute. When he spoke again, with that voice, it was inflected with finality. "I am not cruel, so I will not lie to you because in this case, at least how I understand it, to lie would be more cruel than to tell you precisely what is happened.” Sherlock sat in the tattering high-backed chair, looking so much like modern royalty in that nice maroon top (fancy that irony), leaning forward. He faced John and looked him in the eye straightaway.

“I don’t like to admit it, but, Sherlock, I thought something might have…”

Sherlock looked on expectantly, saying nothing.

“I don’t know…” and as if he summoned up the gall to say it, “I thought something may have come of this!”

“Are you that dense, John? What did you see? How incongruent are we? What on earth could allow you to let this fantasy run rampant? Let it unfold, you said, so I did, John, that does not make me a liar and I will not allow you to call me one because you failed to see. You failed to look," Sherlock's fists clenched, "You loved me more than I loved you in hopes I would fall for you, and in doing so became invested with no insurance against the worst case. _This_ John—“Sherlock paused and hung his head. Everything was annoying. He was hypersensitive and the particulate dust floating in amber light of the window drove him crazy. Nonsensical patterns, antigravity one moment massive and heavy the next, ho—

“Sherlock, tell me in plain words.” John says, sounding put together and final if a little disappointed. Drained.

“I do not love you, John. I think you are magnificent, but I do not want to spend the rest of my life with you as a romantic interest. And I am sorry to hurt you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hm. Yeah, it's not very happy. I love a good Johnlock, but I also like the idea of Sherlock caring so much for John and loving his company, but in a non-romantic capacity. I think it's kind of interesting--John being let down and just after coming to terms with maybe, this could have been a good thing. Thank you for stopping by! :D


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